Irrational musings and movie snobbery from your favorite Colts homer
“Ah, you’ve abandoned your blog and all you do is post videos and brief snide accompaniments.”
Piss off, mate.
Well…not entirely. But I do plan on posting fewer, yet more “in-depth” entries in the future. I can’t just be whoring myself out for comments, much as I’d like to. I’m a high-class girl, with standards. And a landing strip so skinny you’d need infrared to navigate 
In a not-so-shocking development, Dominic Rhodes has signed with the Buffalo Bills to tote the rock (yikes, that’s terrible) during Marshawn Lynch’s three-game suspension. I’d say his departure shoots finding a backup running back up the Colts’ draft needs list, to just below defensive tackle and wide receiver. I’ve heard rumblings about Javon Ringer in the third or fourth round, which doesn’t do much for me. There’s always a chance Mike Hart impresses in his return from a torn ACL, but realistically he’s an unknown quantity at this point.
But Dominic Rhodes, the point of this post, did a lot for the Colts. His late-game running sealed the playoff victory over Baltimore, and I’m pretty sure Brian Urlacher still has nightmares about Rhodes sprinting past him in Super Bowl XLI. You’ll be missed, Dom.
In today’s least shocking discovery, it seems that in this slagging economy, fewer and fewer couples are getting married – and divorced. I’ll leave the hard-hitting analysis to the relationship experts, economists and sociologists, but I would like to weigh in. So I’ll just say this: If you’re going to get married, do it on the cheap, and if you’re rich, only marry someone you’re really, really fond of. Like Kristin Kreuk-level fond of.
See, that wasn’t obvious at all, was it?
I have no idea how to react to this trailer, other than to say I want to see this simply because even Soderbergh’s failures (Solaris) are more interesting than most films that get released these days. Does it look like the next Out of Sight or Traffic? Well…no. But both of those movies were artistically successful due more to the superlative work of their screenwriters (Scott Frank and Stephen Gaghan, respectively) than Soderbergh’s performance as a director.
Now, Sex, Lies & Videotape is all him. And that’s kind of what The Girlfriend Experience reminds me of. All that’s missing is Sandy Cohen’s eyebrows. And a leading lady who isn’t a porn star, but you can’t have everything, right?
Seriously, look at this schedule. If Tony Ugoh can stay healthy (and somewhat consistent), Ryan Lilja returns and Mike Pollak makes the second-year leap, the Colts should win at least 13 games…maybe 14. And they get the Patriots at home, which always helps.
That’s the theory posited by a commenter on New York’s Vulture entertainment blog:
Southland looks like it’s going to be a crappy network version of The Wire. Which is to say everything that the greatest cop show ever did will be dumbed down and made painstakingly obvious for a broad audience.
Which is to say it’s the best thing on NBC in years, but still won’t be any good. Every time an expletive was bleeped in the pilot, it just reminded me of how sh—y network television has become. I can’t wait for Southland’s take on The Wire’s “Fuck” scene in Season One — it will just be a continuous bleep.
Now, I have to say there’s a lot of merit to this. I watched the Southland pilot on Hulu last weekend and couldn’t help feeling I’d seen it somewhere before, but grittier and better. Then again, my time in Los Angeles was mostly spent west of Sepulveda Blvd., so my knowledge of South Central comes strictly from Boyz in the Hood and one ridiculously ill-navigated trip to Dodger Stadium.
Southland appears to be an early ratings success for NBC, if last night’s market shares are to be believed in the age of TiVo, DVR and Surf the Channel. But I wouldn’t get too attached to it just yet. This is NBC – they can fuck up anything.
Also, what’s up with the littering on the Southland set? Going green, my ass!
I’m going to go out on a huge limb here and say that Tiger Woods will not win the 2009 Masters. I’ve only watched about 30 seconds of the first two rounds, but as coming from behind is not Tiger’s specialty (you might even say it’s a weakness – scandalous!), I think it’s safe to write him off. Now watch him pull a Faldo and come from five strokes back on the final day to win.
Only if Greg Norman’s in the lead.
This here looks like more underappreciated genius from Beavis & Butthead and King of the Hill creator Mike Judge. Hopefully, this Jason Bateman vehicle will fare better at the box office than his previous films, Office Space and Idiocracy.
Brilliance.
Michael Bay is on Twitter (for reals, this time)!
Published April 13, 2009 Movie Commentary 1 CommentOh my, not many things would make me happier than this development. Actually, that’s not true, a great many things would. But in the interest of killing time and mercilessly mocking explosion-happy directors, yeah, Michael Bay being on Twitter is a godsend. Let the record show that I don’t hate EVERY Michael Bay movie; I enjoyed the first Bad Boys. And I hold no personal grudge toward the man (or the legions of people who pay to see his films).
In fact, now that it’s apparent he’s owning his crapness and using it to his advantage, you almost have to admire him. Almost. Anyway, here are a few sample tweets from Sir Michael:
Translation: Grrrrrh, I $&$)($! love robots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!