This here looks like more underappreciated genius from Beavis & Butthead and King of the Hill creator Mike Judge. Hopefully, this Jason Bateman vehicle will fare better at the box office than his previous films, Office Space and Idiocracy.
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All in all, it’s about what you’ve probably been expecting. Decent action, little-to-no character development, and lots of catch phrase-style dialogue. The version I – and probably about 100,000 or so other people – saw was leaked from a post-production studio and posted online. Several CGI effects are missing, and Hugh Jackman spends much of the last 15 minutes dangling from wires in mid air.
It’s really quite humorous, though it does make it difficult to suspend belief (not that all the mutants shouldn’t have tipped you off). Much of the movie surrounds the relationship between Logan/Wolverine and his brother, Victor Creed (Sabretooth, though not yet referred to as such). There’s hostility, double crossing, lots of stabbing, sprays of testosterone – and did I mention the stabbing?
The crux of the film is this: Logan and Creed are part of a special group of mutants recruited by the military to do bad things (it goes deeper than that, but to say more would reveal some of the double crossing). Among them are the Black Eyed Peas’ Will.I.Am and Ryan Reynolds, both of whom receive scant screen time and are dispatched with early on. Friday Night Lights heartthrob Taylor Kitsch stars as the Cajun cardshark, Gambit, but the less said about his performance as “Riggins with an accent,” the better.
Ultimately, I sincerely doubt anyone is going to see this movie expecting to be blown away. My first thoughts as the credits rolled were, “Well, they set that spinoff up nicely,” and “I really hope Hugh Jackman was roiding for this movie, otherwise I’m going to feel like complete shit at the gym tomorrow.”
Deep, deep stuff, I know. Oh yeah, X-Men Origins: Wolverine hits theaters May 1, but if you can’t wait until then, check out one of the numerous third-party sites currently streaming it. I’d link them here, but YOU NEVER KNOW WHO’S WATCHING!!!
“Steve Prefontaine, America’s leading long-distance runner…”
Published March 26, 2009 Movie Commentary Leave a CommentAs a former competitive runner, Steve Prefontaine was always a bit of an idol of mine. And because Chinatown is one of my favorite movies (and one of the best scripts ever written), Robert Towne writing and directing the only “Pre” biopic (disregard the Jared Leto bilge) was a serendipitous occurrence. Yes, I’m plugging a decade-old movie with an out-of-focus trailer.
Stay tuned for tomorrow when I explain why Andrew Niccol’s Gattaca is the best science fiction film ever made.
Seriously, of all the movies the suits had to mess with, they picked my favorite film of 2008? Oy vey. I realize it’s just a dumbing down of the Swedish horror gem’s English subtitles, but it’s a little enraging, nonetheless. Kudos to the people at Icons of Fright for posting screenshots that illustrate the vapidity of the “new” translations.
Oh, you silly rich guys. What will you do next?
Little-seen 1993 film about a mentally ill woman being courted by a Buster Keaton-esque oddball who grills sandwiches with an iron and mashes potatoes with a tennis racket. Ring any bells? Fine, it’s the movie with that Proclaimers song “(I’m gonna be) 500 Miles” that was ubiquitous in the early 90s. Anyway, the two lovebirds in that contrived concoction were played by Mary Stuart Masterson and Johnny Depp (who actually scored a Golden Globe nomination for his performance). Their career paths would diverge a bit after its release.
But today I came upon a review of Mary Stuart Masterson’s directorial debut The Cake Eaters and Benny and Joon immediately sprung to mind.
[Kristen] Stewart plays Georgia, a high school student with a degenerative muscular disease. It causes her to walk unsteadily, stand crookedly and, as Beagle tells her, talk like she’s had a few beers. Beagle (Aaron Stanford) is the kid she meets at a flea market. She asks him to come over to her house that evening. Beagle says, uh … ah … yeah, sure. He has no problems with her condition; it’s just that he’s terrified of girls.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re completely different films, and certainly mental illness is not the same as a muscular disease. But watch the preview and see if you don’t get a little deja vu. Ostracized, socially impaired man woos physically (or mentally) impaired woman who has been sheltered her entire life. I swear it’s there and I’m not on drugs.
No word yet on whether we can expect a breakout song from the straight-to-DVD film’s soundtrack.
Michael Bay is on Twitter (for reals, this time)!
Published April 13, 2009 Movie Commentary 1 CommentOh my, not many things would make me happier than this development. Actually, that’s not true, a great many things would. But in the interest of killing time and mercilessly mocking explosion-happy directors, yeah, Michael Bay being on Twitter is a godsend. Let the record show that I don’t hate EVERY Michael Bay movie; I enjoyed the first Bad Boys. And I hold no personal grudge toward the man (or the legions of people who pay to see his films).
In fact, now that it’s apparent he’s owning his crapness and using it to his advantage, you almost have to admire him. Almost. Anyway, here are a few sample tweets from Sir Michael:
Translation: Grrrrrh, I $&$)($! love robots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!