Jerry Angelo, you’re the worst…

Seriously, man, you suck at your job. Not only can you not draft offensive talent, you just gave up two first-rounders, a third rounder and a starting QB (albeit not a good one) for Jay Cutler. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cutler as a talent, but with zero talent at the receiver position outside of Devin Hester and Ron Turner as an offensive coordinator this has “regret” written all over it.

I hope I’m wrong, yet I still see the Vikings winning the NFC North next year and the Bears having just severely overpaid.

Trade for this man!

He threw for 4,500+ yards in his second full year as a starter. He’s one of a handful of NFL quarterbacks capable of carrying a team for stretches (along with Manning, Brady, Brees, good Warner and Rivers). Go ahead and throw those 18 interceptions from last year and his 17-20 career record as a starter in my face. Have you seen the defenses the Broncos fielded the past two seasons? Do you realize they were down to their eighth-string running back last season?

Yeah, there’s a chance the guy’s a mental midget, but he’s a young franchise QB, the most valuable commodity in all of sports. And Denver HAS to trade him, meaning someone’s going to get him for 30% off. So, if I’m the general manager of 15-20 NFL teams, I’m not sleeping tonight – or any night – until I’ve put together a package the Broncos will deem acceptable.

Just please don’t let it be the Jets.

Peppers to the Patriots? Inducing vomiting……now!

For apparently only a second-round pick. It’s not enough the Raiders had to hand them the greatest individual difference maker in NFL history for only a fourth-rounder, now the Panthers are delivering an elite pass rusher for peanuts. Whose kid did Bill Polian kill in a previous life to deserve this kind of uphill battle?

Breaking News: Kirk Hammett roasts Broncos for potential Cutler trade

Okay, so it’s not technically Kirk Hammett, but it’s a decent doppelganger.

Sweet, the Colts get to kill the Bills in Canada!

In an effort to boost the lagging ticket sales that plagued last year’s “Toronto Bills” home game against the Dolphins, the NFL may throw the Bills a bone this year in the form of Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts as an opponent.  The acquisition of Terrell Owens was already a marketing boon for whichever matchup the NFL was going to sell to the Canucks, but pitting them against the Colts – one of the NFL’s top road draws – should further spark interest.

At $200 a seat (probably double on StubSchlub), any intrigue is welcome. Let’s just hope they keep the retractable roof closed.

Big Jay hearts Josh McDaniels? Um…not so much

So, Howitzer-armed Jay Cutler met with his new head coach yesterday, presumably to mend the rather sizable rift that has developed between the two over Josh McDaniels’ desire to shuck Cutler in favor of new Kansas City Chiefs’ QB Matt Cassel. Why McDaniels would trade one of the NFL’s elite young talents for a seventh-round pick with only one year of starting experience is baffling, but my guess is he wanted to put his dick stamp on Denver from the jump.

Cutler, naturally, was also shocked the Broncos were allegedly shopping him and he’s made public his displeasure. First, he leaked his complaints to the media. Next, he put his Denver area house on the market, along with the one he co-owns with his parents. Dude has got to be pissed to attempt selling two homes in this market. Yesterday, the two were supposed to smooth everything over, sooth Cutler’s ego and let bygones be what they be.

Only, uh, Cutler’s still pissed. He and McDaniels “exchanged words” yesterday with “raised voices.” Personally, I find this entire “feud” to be hilarious. Maybe if Cutler had managed to stave off a late-season collapse, Denver would feel more comfortable with him as its franchise QB. Maybe if McDaniels wasn’t so hell bent on establishing himself as the Big Man on Campus, he wouldn’t have alienated his Pro Bowl signalcaller.

Maybe if they both sacked up, said sorry and moved on we wouldn’t all be dissecting this petty pitty party. But for now, I’m digging it. This is better than Gossip Girl. Speaking of – side boob.